Tuesday, 12 April 2016

The Randy Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn - ARC Review


It finally happened, I lost my virginity. Cue applause and cheers.

For a while life was all rainbows and kittens prancing in a sky full of cotton candy clouds…that was until the demands of the real world set in.

My best friend is getting married and she asked me to be her maid of honor. She’s not worried about flowers, or the dress, or the food at the venue. No, she’s worried about the bachelorette party, what kind of penis crown she will wear, and the nipple size of the stripper who will be attending.

I’m in way over my head trying to balance life with a boyfriend, planning a penis party, and writing my romance novel. Something is bound to give.

This is my life after my happily ever after…

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Purchase The Virgin Romance Novelist

Being a lube virgin, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with the thin liquid, so, I popped the top open, squatted ever so slightly with my legs spread as much as they could go, thanks to my underwear, and I pressed the lube up near my vagina. Taking a deep breath, I squeezed hard and shot the lube straight up into Virginia.

A cold wave of thin liquid coated my inner walls right before gravity took hold of it and brought it back down, straight into my underwear, my now appointed lube net.

“Crap,” I muttered, looking down at the pile of liquid sitting in the crotch of my underwear.

Bottle and balls in my hands, I stared at the mess and tried to decide what to do. The heaviness of the lube weighed down my underwear, so I shimmied them down my legs and toed them to the side to pick up after. Commando was sexy, I told myself.

Still eyeing the balls, I convinced myself I could do this. How hard could it really be? Taking a deep breath, I prayed there was enough lube still coating Virginia and slipped the first ball in. Easily I pushed it up and was pleased with the way it fit. With a little more confidence, I thumbed the second one inside and clenched. A small vibration rang through me . . . a pleasing sensation was I wasn’t expecting.

“Well, isn’t that delightful?” I said to myself.

Standing there, I felt comfortable; I could totally do this. More confident, I deposited my underwear and the empty lube bottle in the sanitary napkins trash can—sorry cleaning service—and wiped my hands with some toilet paper so I didn’t slick down the door handle.

Flushing the toilet, I exited, walking very slowly to the sink. With every step, my confidence wavered. I had to really think about each push forward, clenching as tight as I could, praying I didn’t strain my damn cervix.


Kristine's Review:
Reviewed: April 2016.

At the end of The Virgin Romance Novelist all was looking great for Rosie, she finally had plenty of material for her book, she was no longer a virgin, and she had the love of her best friend, now boyfriend Henry, after years of two people being oblivious both Rosie and Henry saw what was always in front of them. Living together, Rosie and Henry have quickly adjusted to a happy committed relationship, and Rosie seems to be making up for all those years she missed out on, trying an array of new positions and new kinks that she had previously only read about, the life of a romance writer giving her plenty of suggestions, but more than just her new found exuberance for all things sex, Rosie has found her other half in Henry, a man that makes her exceedingly happy, makes her feels sexy and wanton, makes her feel wanted both in and out of the bedroom, it's a feeling she never expected to feel so readily, but one that gives her confidence in all facets of her life, as she starts to explore her sexual desires, she also becomes more confident in her writing deciding to give up on historical romance and try her hand at contemporary romance, penning a memoir of sorts, giving Henry the kind of recognition he deserves, memorialising him as one of the great book boyfriends, reminiscing about how they finally found each other, her heroine Meghan is going to realise that the love of her life has been sitting under her nose the entire time.

In true Rosie fashion nothing is simple, while actively trying to recreate a sexual bucket list of favourite positions, organising her best friend Delaney's bachelorette party to her high penis filled exacting standards, working her normal job, cat sitting the psychotic feline evil mastermind Sir Licks A lot, and maintaining her new found relationship with the sexiest, sweetest, most loving man she's ever known isn't going to be easy, from complicated positions to mood swings to an insatiable sexual appetite, the bridezilla demands for phallic objects, to writing her debut novel, to incidents with Marta and vajazzling, Rosie is set for one hilarious, at times cringe worthy adventure.

The Randy Romance Novelist was equal parts sweet and tender and uproariously funny, with each new test she faces Rosie gains a little more confidence, the result leaving a smile a mile wide on this readers face, Rosie is still a little na├»ve and clueless, a lot sweet and innocent, definitely a whole bunch irreverently honest and funny, she's not only the kind of heroine you are desperate to root for, but one you want to be friends with, one you want to share her triumphs and her sorrows, one you find yourself cheering for even when she says the wrong things or jumps to the wrong conclusion. Henry once again was the charismatic hero that was equal parts debonair and sexy, and romantic and cheeky. Despite Henry's mishaps and the moments when I held my kindle in the air shouting "no dudeeeeee what are you doing" there wasn't a moment when I didn't love him simply for the awe inspired way he would stare at Rosie, for the way he loved her, truly, madly, deeply.

Meghan Quinn writes romantic comedy in a way that draws the reader in, instantly intriguing, utterly engaging, Rosie and Henry, Delaney and Derk, hell even Sir Licks A lot had me giggling and smiling through out, it was so much fun to go back and spend time with them again, where most stories end when love has been declared, it was refreshing to see what happens after the characters has said I love you, everything that they experienced, every hilarious second, every sweet, sexy moment left me grinning like a goon.

Giveaway: Signed Print copy of The Randy Romance Novelist & $15 GC

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About Meghan Quinn:

Born in New York and raised in Southern California, Meghan has grown into a sassy, peanut butter eating, blonde haired swearing, animal hoarding lady. She is known to bust out and dance if "It's Raining Men" starts beating through the air and heaven forbid you get a margarita in her, protect your legs because they may be humped.

Once she started commuting for an hour and twenty minutes every day to work for three years, she began to have conversations play in her head, real life, deep male voices and dainty lady coos kind of conversations. Perturbed and confused, she decided to either see a therapist about the hot and steamy voices running through her head or start writing them down. She decided to go with the cheaper option and started writing... enter her first novel, Caught Looking.

Now you can find the spicy, most definitely on the border of lunacy, kind of crazy lady residing in Colorado with the love of her life and her five, furry four legged children, hiking a trail or hiding behind shelves at grocery stores, wondering what kind of lube the nervous stranger will bring home to his wife. Oh and she loves a good boob squeeze!

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